New Interview: One of You Wants Sex. One of You Doesn't.

Almost every long-term couple ends up having this fight. One of you wants more. The other wants less. And at some point that difference became a fight you keep having on repeat.

Here's the part nobody tells you: the gap itself was never the problem. The problem is the two stories you each start telling yourselves in the dark.

I sat down with Relationship Renovations Tara and EJ Kerwin, a married couple and two licensed therapists who've lived on both sides of this exact gap.

→ It's Not About Frequency​
Couples go hunting for the magic number, thinking the right schedule will kill the anxiety. It won't. Chasing quantity kills quality. When sex feels good instead of pressured, frequency rises on its own.

→ The Two Stories​
The higher-desire partner jumps straight to "you don't love me anymore." The lower-desire partner is thinking, "you don't see everything I'm already carrying, and this is one more task on the pile." Two people, same bed, both feeling powerless.

→ When Low Desire Is Grief, Not Rejection​
The moment that stopped me: when Tara lost her desire, she wasn't feeling nothing. She was feeling grief. Her body had gone numb to protect her, and naming that instead of fighting about frequency changed everything.

→ Start Tonight​
Watch or listen to the full episode and read the guide for the full path back to each other.

💋Watch or listen to the full episode​
💋Read the full guide​

✨ Annette's Pick: SVAKOM Klitty

Triple action! Sucking, vibrating, and licking in one toy. For the lower-desire partner rediscovering what feels good with zero pressure to perform, this is a gentle, pleasure-first place to start. Quality over quantity, exactly like the episode says. Check out my full review here.

🍑 NEW GUIDE: Pegging for Beginners: The Couples Guide to a Great First Time

Kinktober is almost here, and there's no better moment to start the conversation.

​Pegging, where a woman wears a strap-on and penetrates her male partner to stimulate the prostate, produces an orgasm men describe as deeper, fuller, and more full-body than anything from the penis alone. This guide is for both of you: the one who's secretly curious about receiving, and the partner who wants to give it and has no clue where to start.

→ Name the Shame First​
The prostate is a pleasure center every man is born with. Enjoying it has nothing to do with who he's attracted to. A straight man loving prostate play is exactly as straight as he was before. Naming that out loud because shame can't survive an honest conversation.

→ Prep Kills the Fear​
A normal bowel movement earlier in the day and a good shower and a gentle douche are enough for most people. Plan for it and the anxiety evaporates.

→ Start Smaller Than You Think​
The biggest beginner mistake is buying something huge because the packaging looked exciting. You want a secure harness, a slim flared dildo, and plenty of lube. You can always size up.

→ Let Him Drive​
Put him in control his first time, on his back or riding on top so he controls depth, angle, and pace. She holds still and lets him take what he wants.

These and more tips plus where to start with first-time purchases in my full guide.

💋 Read the full pegging guide​
💋 Watch and Listen​

What You Need to Start

• ​Lovehoney Discover Gel — thick water-based lube, safe with every silicone toy. The non-negotiable foundation
• ​We-Vibe Ditto+ — slim vibrating plug to warm him up and relax the muscles
• ​Lovehoney Beginner's Strap-On Kit — matched harness + slim 5-inch dildo, sized for a first time

🛒 Shop Lovehoney — 15% off with code ANNETTE15​
🛒 Shop We-Vibe — 15% off with code EXPLORES15​

YouTube Channel Update

I am still fighting to get my channel back. The single most helpful thing you can do to support me is interact with my post on X and ask YouTube to reinstate my account. Like, share, and repost the plea below while tagging @teamyoutube. Thank you so much for your support!

Annette Benedetti @TalkSexAnnette @TeamYouTube Please manually review the termination of "Talk Sex With Annette" https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_0_oA_nWLLwLGZVsNJ-KSA Fully clothed expert-led 18+ educational health/intimacy interviews. No explicit content/nudity. 95K subscribers, years of community gone. Help! 6:31 PM • Aug 27, 2026 27 Retweets 62 Likes Read 33 replies

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